Min mors død. (Engelsk)

Something Big Happened

Its hard to deside whitch part of my life has made the biggest impression on me. I have experienced alot in my childhood and all the way till where i stand now, but allthough i have a feeling that the biggest impression was the 11th of september, 2002 when my mother died.

I can´t remember much from my childhood, but some parts i remember as if it was yesterday. I remember my first day at school, as i was holding my mothers hand, walking into the classroom. We learned the teachers name and then we played on the blackboard. The teacher said to out parents that they where now supposed to leave the classroom. We all cried, as if we would never see them again, but as the two lessons where over, they where there to take us back home.
I remember small bits of the evenings with my mother and father, sitting in the livingroom upstairs watching the weekly cartoon with all my sisters and brothers. We were a big family of 4 girls and 3 boys who all lived together in the house of whitch my father had builded.
I remember the 11th september clearly. It was a rainy day and i were in school. I was 6 years old. My babysister was in daycare and my 3 elder siblings were at home. My 2 eldest siblings were at friends and on boarding school.
I were sitting in the back of the classroom and we where listening to the teacher telling about this event in another country where a plane had flewn into a building and alot of lives were lost. Then it knocked on the door. It was the principal. It was exiting, because the principal had not yet been in our class. He mumbled something to the teacher and she then told me to follow the principal. So i did, and as we walked towards the playground outside, he told me that my father and my sisters were waiting in the car at the parking lot.
I looked into the car and saw Maria. My bigsister. Happy and exited i ran to the backdoor. It was not that often i saw my bigsister home from boardingschool. As i sat in the car Maria buckled me up and then we as we drove i was told that we were on our way to visit mom in the hospital. She had eaten some pills so that the doctors had to put snakes in her throwth. I was not old enough to understand what was said, but as we drove, i felt that it was very wrong. As we arrived my 3 siblings, who found our mother, had been there for half an hour. It smelled awful in the hospital. like sprit and too many white furnitures and walls. Us kids waited in a room with weird toys and hard couches as our father was talking to the doctor. I remember this balled man with glasses and wearing a long white coat. He asked if we wanted to could say goodbye to our mother and bring her flowers. He also said that she was not looking so well, because she had these snakes from her nose to her stomach. She had killed herself. I had a vision of our mother laying in a huge bed with snakes crawling along her body in all colours, trying to eat what she had  for breakfast. Off course i was wrong. As we came in out mother was laying there under a white blanket with a blue border and something written also in blue. She was pale as if she had white powder in her face and her eyes were closed. Her dark hair was in the usually ponytail down her neck and there where two transparent hoses from a machine and into her nostrills. Our father cried. A very rare sight, so we all did. I cant remember more than that, but i today i see how much it has affected my life. The past couple of years i have been told alot of things from my elder siblings and relatives, that i didnt know about my family. I was told that a few days before my mother comitted suiside, she told our father to leave. She wanted a divorse, but i guess she couldnt stand it.
If my mother hadn´t killed herself, then i would probably be living with one of them, or both if they had settled things down. I lived with my father from that day and untill about 2004 where i started visiting another family which the municipality had hired for 2 weekends a month. It was weird and i then i think it was in the end of 2005 my siblings and me were scattered around in different fosterfamilies. My babysister and me went along and we later in 2006 moved to another fosterfamily. Then again the 1th of December 2008 we moved to a sort of orphanage where we lived until i graduated from elementary school. Then we moved to another fosterfamily at the island in southern Denmark called Møn. I have now lived here on Møn since the summer 2011 and i sometimes wonder how my life would be if all the things that have happened in my life, had just been an odinary childhood with mom and dad and going to the same elementary school, having the same friends and so on.
I dont wish for another life, and its probably best that i dont know how another life would be. This is the biggest thing that have happened in my life, so far.